So, thanks for tolerating my crappy fiction postings.
- How I feel:
blah
- How I feel:
accomplished
- How I feel: accomplished
- How I feel: accomplished
- How I feel: accomplished
First off, I should point something out. I am not enrolled anywhere. My bloodline is too diluted to get me a card. However, I grew up going to Ceremonies at least 3 times a year, if not all 4. I grew up spending huge blocks of my summers on the Rez, and not just one in one place but all over WI and MN and even in Canada! I have a bundle that I pull out and smudge with, and just got new medicines for it because my others had run out or were too old. I've spoken a native language, and am re-learning it. I've been to lots of powwow's and even served as a Princess once. I've been accepted as one of the people, and I know I am in my heart. The only difference between me and these people who tout such hatred in their hearts to me (or un-enrolled people LIKE me) is a piece of paper.
With that piece of paper they feel empowered. They can get special benefits in both their community and the community abroad. They get special recognition and privileges that others don't. I'll admit, I want that stupid piece of paper too. I envy those who have it. Not for the reasons you think though. Yeah, it'd be nice to be able to have the privileges, but mostly I want it to make them back off of me. I get racist remarks from both communities. I'm not white enough for the white people, but at the same time since I don't have a piece of paper and I have fair skin I'm not Native enough for the Natives.
I've watched dark skinned Natives (you know, the stereotypical looking ones) push around fair skinned (blonde hair, blue eyes, et all) and exclude them, to then be corrected and find out that the person they were pushing away was actually card carrying. The end reaction of that was depressing to say the least, and the honor of the young man who was dishonored was inspiring to see. He took the snide remarks and the hatred with such dignity and poise. I know that seeing and hearing what they said and did (to his face and behind it) hurt me. He shrugged it off and moved on. I want to be able to do that, but I'm missing something that he has. I'm missing that piece of paper. The reassurance that I do really belong there with my people.
I'll admit, for the longest time I had this great hatred in my heart. I was racist too. I still am actually, but every day I fight it. I hated white people. I hated everything they did to me and my people. The entire history of their arrival and then behavior and treatment of the native community. I also hated them because so many of them hated me for who I was. I hated that I couldn't be accepted fully anywhere, and so I chose the community I wanted to be in and hated the other. I like to think I came a long way. Some of my best friends are white, and I even married a white guy (though, he looks more native than me.)
This can be taken the wrong way but I'm going to say it regardless. Have you ever noticed that NO OTHER ETHNIC OR RACIAL GROUP IN THE COUNTRY has enrollment cards? No one else has to prove their parents were someone or from somewhere. Just Native Americans. It's as if it's some kind of twisted pedigree program. "Quick, lets make them have to keep purity papers to be considered 'real people' that way they don't mix with the normal population." Or even worse, "Make sure you give them papers, just like a prize dog or cat, gotta watch that linage!" I admit those papers give them advantages over non-papered people, but do we HONESTLY need to keep treating our own people like that? It's sickening for me to think that my people have a pedigree program; in some nations, if you marry someone of the same tribe but from a different rez your kids can't get enrollment papers because of red tape and bureaucracy. We're our own worst enemy. Our culture is being washed away by "modern life" and we're busy being worried about a damned piece of paper and how much money the casino made and what our cut of it is!
Now, I'm not saying that arms should be opened wide to everyone. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud of who we are. Heck, I'm not even saying that the card system should go away. I'm saying that the racism should stop. I can understand the anger toward people like me. I can understand how frustrating it can be to see people who don't deserve things get them. Yet, there has to be a happy line somewhere in there. Some place where those of us who can't get papers can stop being bullied on both ends.
- How I feel:
sad
The first sample was part of my science fiction piece that i've been working on for ages.
The second sample is the mythology piece I did about the Tuatha de Dannan.
- How I feel:
blank
- The thai places back home coddle us... this place doesn't hold back w/ the spices! #
- Just sold all my rostygold accidentally.... damn #EBZ #
- Stopped for the night in Clear Lake, IA #
- Breakfast has been eaten, probably going to hit the road soon. #
- Ford escape made it from kansas city to 24 miles into MN on 14 gallons! #
- Landed in Charlotte. #
- Just landed in kansas city. #
- Laptop missing, card declined and have to wait till. 2 @ the earliest to get a card. i wanna go home... #
- Laptop found, still waiting for my Uncle to rescue us. Getting hungry and having a hard time keeping kids entertained and an eye on our ... #
- Yay! Uncle Joe to the rescue! He should be here in about 2 hours. #
- Please Uncle Joe, find us soon... Soooooo HUUNNNGRY!!!!!!!! #
- #ebz Churches still hold services, London still has its bishops, the Traitor Empress is still the... fallenlondon.com/c/145384 #
- you know you're madly in love with someone when you can watch them do something as simple as cleaning a litter box and find them awesome. #
- the beadwork i did for pooka bit.ly/alrJGC #
- To all you who I don't have on Facebook (first, get me on FB) I'll be in MN and WI soon. #
- heya @atsaed deasta #
- #ebz Tools, printing-presses, guns, steam-engines: taxes from trade in these are payable to Mr Ir... fallenlondon.com/c/141113 #
- Me: i'm gonna pay someone to teach you to swim.
Ais: Auntie Krissy!
Me: No baby, she doesn't teach swimming.
Ais: Yeah! She's a lawyer! ... # - bit.ly/98ztfQ i was in the pool today! #
- tweetphoto.com/31049517 (cleavage shot for a friend) #
- @writermonk s'cuz you're just awesome baby. #
- @edheil *laugh* aww, thanks. #
- @edheil rock on. #
- #ebz Nasty, shimmering patches of air float along the streets in the false summers of the Neath. ... fallenlondon.com/c/140053 #
- Rowan has told us what we are... Doug's a chicken... I'm a mountain. #
- the time draws nearer and nearer... I'll be in MN and WI, if you want to try and meet up with the girls and I, let me know. #
- @warrenellis I don't know if I should be disappointed or relieved that I'm not there to see you at the pub all sweaty and naked. Hmm. ;) #
- #ebz They say it's not a monster at all. It's a man who dresses up as a bat. To, ah, prowl... fallenlondon.com/c/137110 #
- #ebz Purportedly the cats of the city know a secret or two. The common tabbies and gingers can co... fallenlondon.com/c/135935 #
- #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Why does it look at us like that? fallenlondon.com/c/134756 #
- Wanna know what's sad? Not being able 2 give your kids an opportunity because you don't have a piece of paper saying you're Native American #
- Thunderbirds singing and hunting close to the house. One strike in each of the 4 directions, all less than a mile away from us. #
- Oh, did I mention... Yesterday our ac went out again. #
- My daughter just exclaimed "Oh my gosh, I just got a sweaty wedgie!" #
- I'm not above begging at this point. Please, oh PLEASE come fix our ac. I'm expiring. #
- @Citibrat *scoff* unless something strange happened, you don't need to lose 50#'s. I could stand to lose about 40 though. #
- #ebz 'The rat-catchers won't help me - ' she says. 'They say they won't touch anything that flies!' fallenlondon.com/c/131271 #
- #ebz The manager of the Hotel offers free rooms to guests of particular note or interest. fallenlondon.com/c/131272 #
- @Citibrat Seriously, i doubt you're that fat. I'm not kidding when I say that it'd take me 40#'s to get back to what i was when you knew me #
- I have discovered that my ability to understand spoken language if it's not directed at me is decreasing. I literally hear just gibberish. #
- #ebz The Square of Lofty Words is always worth a visit. Go and throw some bread to the philosophers! fallenlondon.com/c/128772 #
- #ebz What we have instead of moonlight, down in the Neath: the uncertain glow from phosphorescent thin... fallenlondon.com/c/127785 #
- #ebz That's a very personal question. They don't ask you if you're really meat. fallenlondon.com/c/126519 #
- #ebz We can't get enough gas down here, see. So you know what we burn for heat? ... sinners. fallenlondon.com/c/125162 #
- #ebz The Sterveling Ket! The Sterveling Ket! What did it find in the oubliette? fallenlondon.com/c/123831 #
- @kisamef Well then... HI! #
- According to AC guy, something is seriously wrong with our air conditioner. Joy. #
- #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Swims like a bloodfish! Tastes like a sprat! fallenlondon.com/c/119880 #
- @edheil *laugh* stop now then before you're jello! Smart gamers are needed in this world, there are plenty of dumb ones. #
- our ac went kaput last night. #
- #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Comes for the child who acts like a brat! fallenlondon.com/c/118222 #
- guy came out and fixed our ac, told us we couldn't use the nice anti allergen airfilters, just the cheap blue ones. yay for cool air! #
- Aaaaand... AC's out again. #
- @Citibrat I'm gonna be up there with the girls next month. #
- @warrenellis My daughter takes offense to that statement. So, she replied with "Hey silly goose!" while waving at the computer. She's 4. #
- @MrsTad I hope the drapes he ate were the newer kind that didn't have fiberglass in them *G* #
- #ebz Specialist surgical trusses for the soulless are sold in Fallen London. Well they don't return fallenlondon.com/c/115303 #
- @Kongregator93 adding you! #
- @warrenellis Wow... that explains so much about the way I look. *laugh* #
- @sagaston I wouldn't care, neither would Doug. #
- @edheil I'm adding you anyway! #
- Hours in perfumed pleasure-gardens. And you're being paid for this? fallenlondon.com/c/113945 #
- @fawful_ adding you now. #
- @dontevencat adding you! #
- @joshjtate Heya.. hope you're having a good day #
- @slim81100 Nope, was visiting a few years ago, and I might have been on warren ellis's site because he replied to me. #
- @warrenellis So, if we're pleasure nodules, are you the one who taps into them? How does this work? #
- @warrenellis See, now you're just teasing me... You wicked, horrible, evil, wonderful man. #
- RT @writermonk: "... and a scoop of cotton candy explosion with marshmellow topping, and a diet coke" #
- #ebz Specialist surgical trusses for the soulless are sold in Fallen London. Do they work? Well they d... fallenlondon.com/c/113387 #
- #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Why does it look at us like that? fallenlondon.com/c/111199 #
- @Thunt_Goblins You're so sweet... #
- My God. It worked. You've earnt your pay and you'll be the toast of the Singing Mandrake... fallenlondon.com/c/109035 #
- #ebz The Rubbery Men are the ones who resemble squids, a little. They trade deep amber... fallenlondon.com/c/109516 #
- @warrenellis Mmmm, then what dear sir are you soliciting? *laugh* #
- @warrenellis Well, i guess that's reasonable. It's hard to keep up with us young ladies. Wish i was good enough a writer to collab w/ you! #
- @warrenellis Oh, and btw, WARREN ELLIS REPLIED TO ME!! *swoon* *chuckle* #
- @Icharbezol that you ed? #
- #ebz Ask Madame Shoshana to cast your horoscope. We all know those aren’t stars... fallenlondon.com/c/107451 #
- "But where does the Forgotten Quarter fit into it? And why are there no foxes in the city?" fallenlondon.com/c/108133 #
- #ebz The lunatic murderer Jack-of-Smiles earnt his name by his fondness for cutting throats, but ... fallenlondon.com/c/108224 #
- Devils can't help but do mischief. You've unearthed another almost absent-minded crime... fallenlondon.com/c/108457 #
- #ebz The streets of London were bent into a labyrinth with the Bazaar at the labyrinth's heart. F... fallenlondon.com/c/105637 #
- #ebz When you hear 'colony', think 'leper colony', not Rio. No-one goes there. Well, tomb-colonists. fallenlondon.com/c/106159 #
- RT @SirThomasRiley on Amazon tiny.cc/4uiwx for a chance to win steampunk goggles from @frenzygals www.frenzyuniverse.com/ #
- Working on a test about henna, and my browser froze, almost lost all the work i've done.. #
- #ebz I've gone to Fallen London! www.failbettergames.com/echobazaar" #
- #ebz I've gone to Fallen London! www.failbettergames.com/echobazaar #
- #ebz The Ambassador throws magnificent balls, which are often the highlights of the social season. The... fallenlondon.com/c/105484 #
- @edheil can I add you so I know another person on fallen london? #ebz #
- tweetphoto.com/24348324 I'm coloring my hair.. and i'm naked! Woot! #
- my friend is going to prom tonight... Lucky bloke! HAVE FUN!! #
- tweetphoto.com/24356759 #
- I hate @hughesnet internet and their damned threshold #
- @jeshala she has a pretty smile :) #
- @UncleSpook *chuckle* Well, quit clicking too hard! Take it easy man *grin* #
- @jeshala Get some lettuce, she'll let you work in peace for .... thirty seconds *chuckle* Love on her for me, ok? #
- @jeshala Oh and epic hat on a lovely lady. #
- @warrenellis I less-than-three that last comment. #
- @unclespook "this thing" eh? How on earth do you twitter if you call your phone "this thing" #
- @sagaston I feel your pain when it comes to allergies. I've been trying (and failing) to get mine under control. Heres for you feelin better #
- @MrsTad Wow... #
- @kylecassidy *lol* nice. #
- @Thunt_Goblins Wow... Never thought of that... Huh... yeah... #
- *snirk* shitmykidsruined.tumblr.com/ #
- @warrenellis yes i am, glad to see that you are too. #
- @AgentTimmyK that would definately be amusing... sad thing is, they'd prolly be just the same #
- i just had a baby spider weaving a web.... from my eyelashes. #
- @warrenellis Well, comon, can you blame the man? You'd probably do a better job than he is. *creepy stalker moment* i'm still following you #
- @Citibrat Uhh, 2 or 3 months ago (at least here in SC) #
- @kylecassidy better yet, one of those magnetic charging devices that charges while your phone is clipped in place! Kinetically charged! #
- ptah weighs 13.9 & noodle weighs 14.14! #
- Both cats have now yacked n the car... and noodle also pooed in it... *sigh* #
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